Tag Archives: confident public speaking

“Nothing’s Ever Off The Record.”

This statement is always included when I’m media training a celebrity or public figure and goes into the comprehensive written summary, as well.

It used to be a celebrity could depend on a reporter when they agreed something would remain off the record. And any well-trained reporter will be respectful of this time-honored arrangement. It’s the others just looking for a scoop and, more and more, the “citizen journalists” with no training or ethical boundaries. And sad to say, they’re everywhere looking for their own 15 minutes of fame.

But it’s not just celebs who have to be careful… we all do. When you’re in public, you’re a target and that goes for all public appearances including social media. As we have seen time and again, the media can either expedite a person’s public ascension, or quickly and devastatingly take him or her down. All of this is controlled through proper training and management. We all must become adept at navigating appearances and media interactions in order to benefit from the upside, while avoiding the “media slide” that is, unfortunately, so common today, where we all are judged and punished by a single misstep. Don’t risk your personal brand.

Quick to fall. Hard to get back up. Brutal. Doesn’t have to happen.

No Shortcuts To Mastery

Oh, man, can I tell you how sick I am of hacks talking about hacks? (That’s the unknowledgeable talking about quick fixes.) We’re living in a time of instant gratification. Fine. I like it, too… When it comes to downloading entertainment (and paying for it – stop sharing/stealing artists’ work, people, or they’ll stop producing it), books, staying current, sharing things I own, communicating, etc.

Here is a perfect example: A prospect will ask me to come in to do a one-day workshop. I respond that I don’t do one-days because they don’t work. Another example: Someone tells me they have a speech next week and they need it to be great. Can I help? I can, but it won’t be great. You cannot deliver a great presentation with only a week from start to finish. Sorry.

Here are the things you’ll never hear from me: “It’s easy. It’s quick. It’s painless.”

Here is what you will always hear: “It’s fun. It’s fascinating. When you’ve reached your goal, you’ll feel exhilarated.”

Truth.

It’s Wedding Season

This time of year brings lots of inquiries that go something like this: “I have to give a toast at a wedding, and I don’t know what to say/want it to be funny/i’m scared to death…” and the like. (A funny thing is it’s often a wife who will call on behalf of her husband. Hmmm.)

My first response is, “Relax, this is the most fun you’ll have in public speaking and a great opportunity to impress family, friends, and maybe even bosses and colleagues.”

Besides my usual advice to prepare and practice (a lot), and embrace any stage fright, here are some additional steps:

  • No alcohol beforehand. This is a huge mistake so many people make. Drinking doesn’t relax you, it dulls you, throws you off your game.
  • Don’t embarrass the bride or groom. Or anyone else. Stories should be warm and funny, touching.
  • Be emotional. Don’t break down in sobs, but it’s ok to well up a little. This is one of the only venues this type of thing is acceptable.
  • Keep it short: 5 minutes at most, provided it’s entertaining. We speak at approximately 140 wpm (words per minute), so do the math.
  • Don’t read it. You can use notes to stay on track. Practicing will help you learn it so it seems more spontaneous.

After you’re done, and you have everyone laughing, crying, thinking, “Wow, that was perfect,” raise your glass and celebrate the happy couple — and yourself — by taking a nice, big swig.