Tag Archives: confident public speaking

Killing my darlings

I have to start killing my darlings.

I’m happy to report the big speech – the one where I’ll be sharing the stage with Michelle Obama – is about 75% there. I’ve practiced it out loud a lot. I’ve gotten my designer to create some kick-ass slides. It’s really coming together.

But… I have to admit, it’s still too long and I’m having a very hard time cutting content. You might even say I’m stuck. So I’ve been asking people I respect for their input and will discuss with my coach, who has been a big help. In fact he is the one who said, “it’s hard to kill your darlings.”

The problem is my perception is skewed. I think my audience has to have everything I’ve created so far. I like the way it flows. In fact, I’ve fallen in love with the speech as it is. Kind of like the Narcissus myth who looked in the water admiring his own reflection until he fell in and drowned. Like Narcissus, if I don’t cut it down, a similar fate will befall me.

I have gotten rid of some of the content, but I still must dispense with about 10 more minutes – that’s a good two sections… but which ones? I’m torn.

I have 45 minutes to deliver the speech and technically, time-wise, I’m under that. But my goal is to do it in 30 so there is plenty of time for Q & A. No one ever objects to a presentation ending in less time than promised, and I believe the days of long presentations – those that exceed 30 minutes – are over. And frankly, there is nothing I have to say that cannot be said in 30 minutes flat.

Another thing I have to figure out is where and how I include my own story… these are the best ways to connect with any audience. I need to figure out which of my major screw-ups is the best one to include. I asked my daughter, Britt, today, in fact, and she had some good ideas, one of which I’m going to try to develop.

So, here is the truth: I. Am. Stuck. I have to kill some of my babies and I don’t know which ones and I have to figure out which personal story to include.

By writing this ezine this month, I’m making a public promise that by next week, I’ll have reduced it to that half-hour. I hope you’ll hold me accountable. I’ll be working with my coach to see what he thinks I should get rid of and what personal story to include. I’ll abide by it. I’ll still love the darlings I keep.

I’m midway through prep for my big speech

Getting ready for the Big Speech is going more slowly than I’d hoped. Just staying disciplined has been a painful exercise. But I know if I don’t do this work, there is no way I’ll have anything good ready to go on September 27.

But… I am finally feeling more confident in the flow and rhythm of the talk. And every day as I say it out loud I find more things to fine tune.

I admit up until about mid-June, I was becoming increasingly worried. Would I be giving them what they paid for? Would the information be too basic, not entertaining enough? Would I be funny? Would they leave better than they came in? And, most importantly, would it all fit? That’s a huge obstacle for me.

I always start with far too much information that would take about twice as long to deliver than I have time for. My initial outlines are always super detailed. It feels dense at this stage. Also, in today’s presentation landscape, certain audiences appreciate it when you come in under the time limit. I’ve identified this audience as one of those. One thing I’m certain of is a speaker certainly shouldn’t go over.

But editing, ugh. I hate cutting sections. They’re like my babies. I love them. And I have to cut almost half! I always remind myself, “Only you will miss it.” It’s something I always tell my clients, but it’s still torture. The segments that can go will become more apparent as I plod forward.

Yesterday, I worked with my coach, who suggested a really great addition… something that requires a lot more work, but would be so cool if I can pull it off. Now that’s in the mix. And I need a Plan B for that section just in case something goes awry.

I’m saying the speech out loud now about once a day. On average I spend about 90 minutes a day on it. I’m trying not to get bored. I’m testing certain sections before small audiences.

I’ve settled on a somewhat provocative opening. The title is ATTENTION! Re-Igniting Focus in a World Drowning in Distraction, so I feel the need to blow it up from the get-go… not my comfort zone. But I think I have something that will do the trick. The test audiences have enjoyed it, a good sign.

My biggest concern is that I’m spending too big a portion on information I’m super comfortable with and that I love vs. information my audience would prefer to hear. This nagging self-doubt always works itself out, but it’s very uncomfortable while it’s happening.

So, that’s where I am… getting there, but slowly. Adding and subtracting. It’s why I gave myself so much time. I came up with the title and description in February. It was accepted in late April and I started seriously developing and working on it in May.

It’s hard. I take turns wondering why I set myself up for such punishment and remembering the great time I know I will have being on stage, sharing my expertise, inspiring and engaging with my audience, meeting many of them afterward at the book-signing, and taking advantage of all the new opportunities that will naturally follow.

Ok, back to work…

Time to end our love affair with charisma

Is it time to end our love affair with charisma?

As an unabashed cheerleader for smart and engaging communication, I want to explore whether that mysterious quality is given too much weight.

The truth is someone who is extremely charismatic and/or connects deeply with a certain group can often skate on the knowledge required to actually do the job she or he has auditioned for. That ends up being no good for anyone because ultimately, that individual will be found out, often after much damage has been done.

On the other hand, we are human beings, having evolved over the millennia to be emotional and respond in kind. There is a natural selection process involved here that influences our choice of partners in both business and life and certainly in our decisions about what leaders to support and follow.

So the question, then, is not that an over-reliance on charisma can get us into trouble (it can), but how do we manage our response to it so it doesn’t overwhelm facts or our ability to make the most informed decisions?

nazirallyinggrounds2If you read my personal note, you saw I was recently in Nuremberg, Germany a city made infamous by Hitler and the Nazi Party and also famous by the German government and the Allies, which held the war crimes trials post-World War II. I walked in his footsteps. (If you look closely at this grainy photo, you’ll see Hitler in the foreground with his arm raised.) I then reviewed the propaganda. It was horrifying, to say the least.

In graduate school in communications, Hitler was one of the first leaders I studied. A charismatic speaker, we know he was able to inspire his followers, many of whom were average, middle-class people, to commit unspeakable acts against their fellow human beings.

nazirallyinggrounds

 

 

 

 

(The Nazi Rallying grounds today)

Recognizing the horror of what had happened, an interesting phenomenon took hold: The country became a prime example of “anti-charisma.” I fondly recall working in Frankfurt some years ago for a big, international banking conglomerate and being struck by how “boring” the clients were. I didn’t get it at the time, though I should have. It was as if the German people had collectively decided that charisma could lead to very dark outcomes and should thus be treated with suspicion.

nazigroupinggrounds3v2That is a foreign concept to us in the US.

So back to my question about how to manage our response to charisma. First, in business, it is unlikely that charisma alone will get you the job, the deal, the recognition. There has to be some “there” there for that to happen. What it can do, however, is help you get a foot in the door.

Once that happens, it’s up to the person(s) responsible for choosing to do their homework, to thoroughly vet and research. To rely entirely on the emotional response and say, “I like her! (or him!)” is not enough. Behaving in that way is shirking a greater responsibility.

The true role of charisma then, in my opinion, is to function as a delivery vehicle for depth and knowledge. It does not stand alone.

 We saw what happened in Germany and Europe when it did.