It’s done. Finally. Yes, I have finished the big speech. Now I’m in practice mode, saying it over and over, repeatedly, so even if the technology goes down, I’ll be able to give my audience what they came for. The slides are due today in fact, so I couldn’t change it even if I wanted to.
I did a lot of cutting. I was reminded during this process that although it hurts at first, soon enough, I don’t miss the darlings I had to kill.
But here’s the rub…
I’m bored with it. I wonder if people will be engaged. Will they laugh at the funny stuff? Will the technology go south? Will I forget something important? Will the videos play? Will it meet the audience’s expectations?
I can’t seem to work up the enthusiasm I once had during the creative process. On the other hand, people tell me it’s very good. I also know intellectually, that once I get up there with the audience in place to engage with and the adrenaline flowing, it’ll all be fine.
Emotionally, however, it’s hard to internalize. I know it will work, but I don’t feel it. Not yet.
At this point, I have been trying to put some space between it and me. There was an entire week when I didn’t bother with it at all. Then when I got back to it, I felt rusty. Ugh! So, I’ve committed to myself to run it every weekday, and starting on the 20th (exactly a week before) every day.
If it sounds like I torture myself, you’re right, I do. It’s work of art… I’m creating an experience, delivered in a particular way that will make people feel something. I want them to leave better than they entered.
The truth is, I won’t know if it will do what I hope it will do until it’s done. Now that I can get excited about. I can’t wait for that. As Michael Caine said, “Rehearsal is the work. Performance is the relaxation.
I’m ready for that.