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The Power of The Personal Story

Have you been watching the Democratic candidates for president? If it’s too soon for you to tune in, I get it. Kind of like that Christmas window a D.C. friend of mine spotted in September! It feels awfully early. But most have learned the power of the personal story.

I’ve been watching since it’s part of what I teach and get contacted by the media about. And, I admit, I’m always fascinated by how candidates tell their personal story. Telling one’s personal story is only one slice of the persuasion pie, but I’d say it is a major slice, a little bigger and a little more important than the other slices.

These candidates know that facts, figures, and policy prescriptions won’t matter until they forge a connection with voters. It’s about values and when you tell your story, your values are contained within it.

Business professionals should know that facts, figures, and technical prescriptions won’t matter until they forge a connection with clients. It’s also about values and being relatable.

Now, I’m not big on sharing and I confess it took me much too to tell my story. For whatever reason, I couldn’t get past the ideas that…

  1. It would be too personal and no one would want to hear it.
  2. It wasn’t relevant to my work.

I was wrong on both counts and since I began to use the power of the personal story about 12 years ago, my business has completely changed.

So what is my story? I have a few and apply them to appropriate situations. One story concerns what a terrible student I was and that I had low SAT scores and how it all made me feel that I wasn’t smart. I tell this story when speaking to audiences who want to learn what it takes to achieve at high levels.

Another that I have customized to mortgage or real estate industry audiences is about my house, how my late husband and I bought it, how we were charmed by it, and what a great place it was to raise our family, how it’s super old (1875!) and how I have no intention of downsizing even though it can be a costly pain. This demonstrates to such audiences that they don’t merely buy and sell homes; they change lives.

Still, another that I share with private clients from all corners of the business world discusses how I am shy and introverted and how difficult it is for me to meet new people and market myself and my business. This is designed to let them know they’re not alone, and if I can do it, they can do it.

There are three places to explore to start writing your story:

  1. Your upbringing. What in childhood shaped you so you are who you are today?
  2. Your career struggles. Where did you fail and what did you learn from it?
  3. Your personal failings. What can you share about where you failed personally?
  4. Your values. What are the most important values and how do you try to live them?
  5. Your secrets. What are the secrets, shames, and sadnesses that you are reluctant to share?

Once you’ve pulled that information together, think about your audiences. You want to make sure you don’t over-share. Your story only works if it doesn’t make audiences cringe or feel sorry for you.

As you hone your story and test it out, you’ll come to the right mix. You’ll also revise and adjust for audiences and as time goes by. And you’ll watch your business and career grow.

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