The signs are unmistakable… rising interest rates, trade tensions, market volatility. After an unusually long, post-Great-Recession bull market, things were bound to pull back.
I’m not predicting a recession; that is way above my pay grade. But I’ve been an entrepreneur and global business observer long enough to know a correction of some kind always happens eventually. I also know the extraordinary length of this expansion means many workers have never experienced one. It’s not fun.
I read this article by a colleague of mine, Mallun Yen, and it just blew my mind. Everything rang true, not only for me, but for every professional woman I’ve shared it with. It really made me question my thought processes and it has been so powerful, in fact, that I’m developing programs around it and taking them on the road.
Here’s what I mean…
At one of my recent speaking engagements for a group of high-level executive women in the same industry, I started by asking for a show of hands with this question: “How many of you have done business with someone in this room?” A significant number of hands went up, which made sense.
Then, I followed up with, “We’ve been here for 2.5 days. We’ve been eating, drinking, learning, spa-ing, and spending quality time together. How many of you have asked another attendee for something that could move your business forward?”
Only 3 hands went up. This would never happen with men. And it shouldn’t be happening with women.
This is the beginning of an overdue conversation, one we haven’t been having. The truth is women allow friendships to get in the way of business. This is a shame for many reasons but it isn’t atypical and it isn’t women’s fault because it’s how we’ve been socialized. Those facts, however, should not keep us from striving to change this dynamic.
Here is some food for thought:
Men prove trust by asking for favors.
Women fear they will betray trust by asking for favors.
Men fear intimacy personally, crave intimacy professionally.
Women fear intimacy professionally, crave intimacy personally.
For instance, when men hear that a colleague needs something, they race to provide the solution because that colleague then owes them. It becomes a type of currency. Women’s networks are (finally) rich with opportunity and it’s up to us to stop shying away and start taking advantage.
Here are some things we can do to activate and energize our networks:
Choose appropriate networks. In a room of peers, there is no problem that should go unsolved. Someone should either be able to take action on your behalf or introduce you to someone who can.
Have an offer ready, too. It’s not a one-way street.
Keep your “ask” short, succinct, and specific. Don’t say you’re looking for referrals in an industry. That’s too general. Do your homework and name companies or people.
Keep track of who helps and who doesn’t. If someone makes promises, but doesn’t act, you can still be friends, but move on because that person won’t make a good referral partner.
Resist networking organizations with rules that discourage business development. (This is a pet peeve of mine and more prevalent among women’s groups.)The best organizations are those that set aside specific, focused time to make asks and offers.
Don’t be afraid to say no or of being said no to. Just because it’s no today, doesn’t mean it’s no tomorrow.
Keep practicing. It gets easier.
Don’t be an unwitting “Keeper of the Glass Ceiling.” If we cannot approach our friends, who know us and love us best and who are rooting for our success, who can we approach?
How to deal with discomfort in presentational settings? You know the feeling. I certainly do. It manifests in different ways… sweaty palms, increased heartbeat, trembly hands, butterflies. You wish it would just go away, but it never does.
My upcoming Instagram LIVE broadcast this Monday, June 4th, gave me this topic idea. Because I’m totally uncomfortable about doing it. You see, with these live video broadcasts, which you can now do on certain social media like Facebook and its relative, Instagram, there is no way to test the platform first. You can’t try it out in advance to see what buttons to push or how to hold the camera device. It immediately broadcasts and then stays there for awhile (I don’t know yet if I can even take it down if I truly screw it up). And if you know me, you know I’m a prep freak, including the tech prep, and if there is no way to include that part, then I’m in my least favorite place.
So, how to deal with discomfort? There are things you can do, that I am doing and will do to limit the impact of those awful feelings…
Develop content. I’m only giving myself a short time, so I’ll work with the end goal in mind.
Create notes or an outline. I’ll use them during the broadcast. If you’re there, you’ll see me referring to them. No one should work without a net.
Read up on the platform. I want to learn from experts. Surprises don’t work for me.
Practice out loud. Making sure the words flow and transitions are smooth is the best thing I can do to ensure my discomfort doesn’t undo me.
Time myself. I want my part of this to be a max of 10 minutes. Since my internal clock is deficient, I’ll use a countdown timer.
I’ve read once you’ve ended an Instagram Live broadcast, it disappears. If not, I’ll review it. Though it pains me to do so, I know it’s the only way to improve. I’ll also ask for feedback from people I trust.
Over time, I’ve shifted my mindset about pushing through discomfort. I used to procrastinate or hide. Now, I take action anyway. I hope you’ll join me on Instagram LIVE on Monday at 11am Eastern. You’ll know that behind whatever I’m saying is a high level of agita. And I also hope if you are there, you’ll give me feedback when it’s done.
